menstrual sex faq

Condoms aren't as bad as guys make them out to be.
Talk to your partner about menstrual sex and decide on some ground rules.
Don't place too much pressure on yourself to make your partner orgasm.
"All they do is protect us from infections and from becoming fathers, but all we do in return is give condoms a hard time."

Sometimes condoms get a bad rap. All they do is protect us from infections and from becoming fathers, but all we do in return is give condoms a hard time. Where’s the love? Condoms themselves shouldn’t cause UTIs for men unless they’re carrying bacteria. UTIs are most commonly associated with bacteria in the urethra, kidneys and bladder, as well as weak immune systems. Keep in mind that a condom is more likely to be exposed to bacteria from contact with the hands, mouth and anus. But there is research that suggests women whose male partners use a condom and spermicide appear to have increased amounts of E. coli bacteria in the vagina, which can lead to a UTI. Also, some people have allergic reactions to the condom material (usually latex) or the spermicide/lube, which can resemble a UTI. As for the male libido, some people have a psychological reaction to using condoms that can affect their libido. Knowing that using a condom can decrease his sensitivity, sensation and possibly impact his erection can mess with the mind. But is that really the condom’s fault? What percentage of men are actually OK with having sex with women on their period of menstruation? The percentage of men who are OK with menstrual sex depends on age, culture and spirituality/religion. Unfortunately, more guys aren’t OK with menstrual sex than those who are fine with it. The important part to focus on is that your boyfriend was willing to try it. It sounds like taking some precautions beforehand can help the next experience be more memorable for the right reasons. Laying down a towel beforehand, wearing a condom, choosing a day with a lighter flow, and showering can all help ease menstrual sex anxiety. Some people establish menstrual sex rules like no fingering or cunnilingus. It’s all about changing your perception of menstrual sex so that it is positive, fun and not a big deal. Also, you’re right about the help that menstrual sex has with cramping. Intercourse and having orgasms has been associated with relief of menstrual cramps, because they help release the muscular tension that’s been built up in the back and pelvic region. I’d suggest you and your boyfriend be honest, share your thoughts and feelings, and talk about ways you can both set the stage for a pleasurable and enjoyable second menstrual sex adventure. Wouldn’t take it personally that your girlfriend hasn’t had an orgasm from intercourse -- it’s more common than you think. Most women reach orgasm in a variety of ways, and placing emphasis on one particular method often puts too much pressure on both partners. This is likely something she’s dealt with before you ever came into the picture, so it’s not just you. Most postmodern sexologists believe orgasm is the responsibility of the individual. The important part is that she is able to share an orgasm with you during foreplay and other activities. I wouldn’t put pressure on you or her to prove her wrong. That doesn’t mean you both can’t try new toys (a vibrating cock ring or vibrator) or activities to add to the pleasure you already experienced. A common technique that attempts to incorporate orgasm with penetration is called the bridge technique. In short, you stimulate her in the manner that helps her reach orgasm (oral, fingers, etc). Before she reaches orgasm, you insert your penis and “bridge” intercourse with orgasm. You can continue the stimulation that helped her get to the point of orgasm (likely clitoral stimulation) along with the penetration, or penetration only. As you get the hang of it, you can both experiment with elongating the time you bridge. One drawback as a male is that you would have to be ready, aroused and erect when she reaches the point of orgasm, which adds to male erectile performance pressure. Who knows, an intercourse orgasm may sneak up on you if you both can find ways to take the pressure off. Remember, orgasm shouldn’t be the goal of sex but should be a part of the sexual process. I think pleasure and enjoyment are more realistic goals. 

Small size and Big plesure. The Size doesnt matter!

• There aren’t any medically supported ways to increase penis size.
• A vibrator is a great way to help your girl explore her body and erogenous zones.
• Have hope - there are women who are attracted to people with disabilities.
• "Also, there’s no connection between masturbation and penis size, so give yourself a guilt-free sausage tug whenever the mood strikes you."

Penis size isn’t the answer to all your sexual problems. It will serve you better to learn sex and pleasure techniques as well as relationship and communication skills. Most studies estimate the average penis size for an adult male to be around six inches and the average varies slightly higher or lower depending race. There aren’t any medically supported ways to increase penis size, so save your money on the penis slings, splints, pills, creams, surgeries, and injections. Yes, people actually do all of that to their penis in hopes of changing its size. Women prefer all sizes of penises. Think of that bell-shaped curve from your high school math class and you’ll realize that most women want average size, some want above average size, some want below average size. You’ll find women who won’t date you because of your size and others who won’t care. The tough part is searching through the dating scene to find the right women. On a side note, I’ve met three women this past summer with self-described tight vaginas, and each said they prefer a partners fingers or a penis less than four inches to the pain of an average- or above average-sized penis. Learn to love yourself, stay positive, be confident, and search for someone with like-minded interests. Also, there’s no connection between masturbation and penis size, so give yourself a guilt-free sausage tug whenever the mood strikes you. There aren’t any medically supported ways to increase penis size. A vibrator is a great way to help your girl explore her body and erogenous zones. Have hope - there are women who are attracted to people with disabilities. "It’s a great way to explore your body, your erogenous zones, and find the areas of your vulva that feel most sensitive (I’m betting your clitoris). The type of stimulation a person prefers varies, as well as the intensity, pressure, speed, and techniques that each person desires. I can also sense you have some discomfort about sex and your body. Calling your vulva “down there” and alluding to trying something yourself (masturbation I assume) tells me that you’re still learning to feel comfortable about your body and being comfortable as a sexual being. We’ve all been there and most will tell you the more comfort you gain with sex and body image, the more you will allow your mind and body the permission and freedom to experience sexual pleasure. Suggestion of using a vibrator is a great way to explore your body, your erogenous zones and find the areas of your vulva that feel most sensitive (I’m betting your clitoris). Take some time to masturbate, alone to start, and explore the different areas of your vulva with the different speeds and settings the vibrator offers. Masturbating with a vibrator takes no prior experience and you’ll master the art form real quick, believe me. I recently gave a friend her first vibrator and sure enough, she’s spending a lot more quiet nights at home than before. No matter what obstacles a person faces, we have to keep striving for joy and pleasure in life. A person with a disability is entitled to the same sexual perks as the next person. It sounds like you haven’t given up, and the spirit of your e-mail is positive and filled with hope and humor. The fact that you continue to meet women and put yourself out there tells me there’s fight in you. That confidence and desire is going to be your biggest asset. It’s not that all women aren’t into you; it’s about finding the ones that are. Let’s be honest, you have fewer opportunities for partners than most guys. However, it only takes one person to change our lives. There are people, both with disabilities and without, that would date or hook up with you. I’ve encountered friends, colleagues, clients, and one particularly hot sexologist who all have expressed desire and attraction for people with disabilities. One option that I always encourage for any single person these days is online dating. If most of the women you meet don’t seem to respond to you, maybe it’s time to search in places where partners are looking for a guy with a disability.